Tonight I was cleaning out one of my closets as I usually do when I am trying to find something and I found the round filing tool that was attached to the dremel that was last used on my little sweet dutch blue lovebird, Goji.   They used this round rotary tool to file down his beak.  So it’s one of the last things that touched him and I can’t seem to throw it away.

I have had many little lovebirds in my life but Goji was extremely special.  He didn’t have a mean bone in his little body unlike my Sweetie, my peach faced love bird is very territorial and will come charging at me when I am trying to feed him.

Due to circumstances that I am not going to go into now, I wasn’t able to give Goji all the love and attention he so rightly deserved.  Birds not only need the emotional aspect of time out with their owners but it is vital for their health.  If they don’t get exercise most days they can develop heart problems.  And by the time you can see any kind of illness in a bird, it is already too late.  Birds naturally have a flock mentality and so in order not to be pushed out,they will hide any sign of illness and/or injury until they are unable to do so.  

For Goji, it was an overgrown beak that he was unable to hide.  He also looked a little disheveled.   The first time I had it trimmed, it came back two weeks later. This is definitely not normal.  I will soon post that vet story here.  The second time, I took him to another vet.  Good avian vets are extremely difficult to come by but I found an amazing one that confirmed he had a heart issue.  He also was able to arrange an echo cardiogram for him at another vet.  Talk about a hero! Usually a lovebird is too small for this test.   And he was able to trim the fast growing beak again without this dremal and anesthesia.  

I knew he was sick but had hoped that once he had this test, he could be put on medicine and have an extension of life.

A few days later there was a sunset.  I got Goji out of his cage with the intention of this being the first of many that he would see.  I could tell he was enjoying it.  I put him back in his cage and proceeded to do the dishes when I heard a thump.  Goji had fallen from the higher perch onto the ground.  He was still upright but then he collapsed on his back.  I immediately grabbed him so at least I could hold him as he went.

There was a lot of self blame after that.   Thinking maybe if he was on the lower perch he would have  been ok.  His vet dismissed these things.  But I do know that I could have done better in terms of giving Goji a better life.  Appreciate your pets everyday.  Give them outside the cage time with you as much as you possibly can.

And don’t lose the lesson of little Goji Blue.

Life is fleeting, beyond short.  Don’t waste any time at all.

I think that is the message of all of our beloved pets.  Most of them come with notably shorter lifespans unless they are a cockatoo.  So we have to go through the aging process and inevitable huge loss of a tiny beautiful creature.  

There is no replacing him. Every little bird has their own distinctive personality.  But someday I will get another dutch blue.

He was the purest form of love and I miss him so much.  I just hope he can forgive me.  And I will do my best to live fully now.