Sometimes when extreme things happen, it is best to look at what you need to learn immediately so you don’t have to go through it over and over again.

It was two days before the start of the new year, I could not sleep. I was sweating – something I have become hormonally familiar with but this was different. I was completely drenched. I changed into lighter clothing but it made no difference. It was then that I heard and felt my heart beating and pounding harder and faster than a heavy metal drummer.

I woke up my husband and asked him to google the symptoms of a heart attack.  I can’t even remember now the list he read off but I do remember him telling me that I was just having a panic attack.  This is an example of how it is really important to listen to yourself. You are the only person in your own body.   I told him to call 911 and an ambulance arrived at what seemed to me shortly after as I drifted in and out of consciousness.  My husband thought they were taking way too long.

The EMTs were now in our cluttered bedroom.  I was embarrassed but was unable to do anything about that.  One EMT kept asking me questions over and over. I didn’t mind giving them my name and date of birth but hesitated and fibbed with my weight. They eventually gave me something to bring my heart rate down. I was like great! Now let me go to sleep! But that was not an option.  I was to be carried out via a fancy stretcher to the ambulance.  All I could think of as they were loading me in is that “I’m gonna get carsick and we have to cancel family game night scheduled for tomorrow.”  Sitting in the back of a car and not facing out is my kryptonite.  I made an effort to fall asleep so I wouldn’t have to experience this.  It worked.  I woke up as we arrived the emergency room at the hospital.  Not surprisingly, as soon as we got there my heart rate started racing again.  It was back to the abnormal fast rhythm.  It was now past 3am and I just wanted to try to rest but it would be a night of introductions, questions, more questions and drugs.

After a several hours, I was pretty certain that I would be admitted. I have never been hospitalized before and even though I knew it was necessary – I was determined to get out as fast as possible. I reached out to three people for prayers and sendings of healing. I was not that surprised when a few hours later my heart rate went back in the normal range. It also helped that the doctor who would become my cardiologist gave me an estimate of when I could expect this. Here are some of the things that I learned:

1- The Danger of Stress – I know that even though I had a mix of a perfect storm that brought me to that place – I know the number one ingredient is stress. I confirmed it with the cardiologist they sent in. I asked the Cardiologist that they sent in “could stress have caused this?’ He told me “Absolutely!” The truth of the matter is that it was a perfect storm of things that brought me in there but I know the number one thing was stress. Never underestimate the power of stress.

2 -DO IT NOW! – it’s funny what comes into your head when you think you might be dying. My first two thoughts were that I hadn’t finished my blog/website and book. So here you have the first part of this thought now. It was a horrible feeling to not have actualized your goals and dreams. It’s so easy to procrastinate but the only way to get the finished product is through. I know that when I write, more ideas come to me than if I don’t. Also, those ideas might not come at the time I am sitting down to write but trust me – they will come. Yes, just like in the movie “Field of Dreams.”

3) Appreciate all the people who are really there for you. For me, it’s the people who show up that really matter. It doesn’t matter if you love me if I can’t find you.

I know I am lucky to be here again and this didn’t happen by accident. It’s another wakeup call to live your best life and always take your cell phone with you – especially when it was in the high times of covid when they didn’t allow anyone to come in and visit you.