The Day The Dog Died

My husband said that I should choose another title for this blog but I mean this in a Don McLean type of way. It was the ending of something so deep that I really don’t think I could describe how much Bunny Love meant to us.

It can be dangerous when your dog is your best friend.

You always know that it will end but that doesn’t make it any easier. It will still be one of the most painful experiences of life but then there is some sort of relief. Relief that she is not still suffering and the anxiety of all the vet visits. Bunny hated the vet. I hated the ever-increasing costs as she got older but I would never deny her anything.

We had planned to take a week-long trip possibly even bringing her over the summer. A few months before I told my husband that I would fly up and back instead on the same day since it was my appointment that we were going for. We already had the week off so we kept it. The week before Bunny started having new symptoms mainly of not eating digesting. She wasn’t able to hold her #2 which was something she always was a good girl with.

I called the vet and asked her how I know when it’s time. I know she meant well but she was encouraging me to bring her back in and try more supplements. Bunny was already on heart medication and three of her herbal holistic supplements. I asked her how many of these can a dog take? I knew I was going to have to go by what I was seeing and Bunny was experiencing. It was going to be time soon to let her go.

But I didn’t want to do anything before it was time.

The next week the day before my flight she had taken a turn for the worse but since we had fortuitously had the week off, my husband could stay with her while I did this day trip. I called to check in when I arrived and he told me everything was fine. I would find out later that this wasn’t true but he was doing his best not to upset me. She was unable to move and was not eating. He laid on the floor with her. When he picked me up later at the airport, he alluded to that fact but still didn’t give me all the scary details.

She waited for me

When I arrived home, Bunny was herself. She came out into the hallway wagging her tail and doing her little regular happy dance to see me! My husband was shocked but I was just glad to see her. I didn’t realize at that time how much effort that must have taken for her to do that. She even ate some chicken (her favorite) that night to please me. So maybe now we will at least have her until the end of the summer.

The next morning, she was sick. The sickness that looks like pain and suffering. I knew it was time but I had not planned for this. Fortunately a google search provided me with vets that will come to the house for what is now called “in-home euthanasia.” I went with the one that was local and had the best vibes from the website. She told me she was fully booked and was leaving for a conference tomorrow. I texted her back and told her that I think I will need you today. She then told me she would shift around her schedule and come at the end of the day around 8pm. I guess she is used to this in her business. She did charge me extra fees for emergency services and for my location even though I am in the service area she says she services. I didn’t haggle. I just said yes and paid and then waited, hoping that Bunster would be able to make it that long.

It turned out to be a beautiful night. It was cooler than normal for the middle of July and slightly cloudy. I carried my sweet girl onto our deck and put her in her doughnut bed. I started to take pictures but it didn’t feel right but I was able to capture the one above.

The vet had arrived. My husband was waiting for her in front of our building to show her where to park in the street but instead GPS had led her into our parking lot where she was now blocking one of our neighbors. I texted to let this neighbor know that I had a vet here that was blocking her truck and it would only be twenty minutes or so. Then I called my husband to get him to go to the parking lot to get the vet up here.

By now Bunny had gotten up from the bed and was walking out toward the edge of the deck looking out at the water view. I could tell she was in between the worlds. I really wish I had gotten a picture of that but I just had to be fully present with her.

Peter (my husband) and the vet arrive on the deck. She starts to try to coax Bunny back to the bed. I got a text back from the neighbor whose car is being blocked by the vet. She tells me that next time she would appreciate advance notice. It is rude not to do so. I tell her sorry but I really didn’t plan out my dog dying. She told me sorry for my loss but there’s the street for that and my life should not inconvenience my neighbors. The vet tells me to ignore this but I text back one more time and tell her that she parked there by mistake before shutting down my phone. I wanted to say a lot of other things to this woman but then it would never end. I am angry that those texts took me away from this life altering moment. I am already in a state of shock and now I am also stunned since I only had one positive interaction with this woman before. And just for the record, this nasty woman rarely ever leaves her apartment. Her truck is always there.

The vet gets Bunny back to bed and then explains the process. The first shot is a sedative. The second will stop her heart. She gives us a few minutes to say goodbye. Those were the shortest minutes of my life. She gives her the first injection. Instead of being more sedate, Bunny perked up as my husband and I were both holding her. The vet tells us “she’s a Terrier!.” I am having regrets already. Then comes the second injection way too soon. Bunny becomes completely still within seconds. The vet takes a stethoscope and then listens to her heart which she then tells us has stopped. I immediately cry out “Bring her back!” I know that is impossible as we both cry. The vet gave us a few very short moments after with her. My husband insisted that he be the one to carry her body to the vet’s car. We were having her cremated.

She went into the next dimension with us holding her and telling her that we loved her. We spent the entire days before with her.